Chapter 43

“HIS BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF ART”

CHAPTER : 43 .

RORISANG . 

Kagoentle just got home , they're in the kitchen with Lwandile . Ontshiametse finally got out of bed , as long as she's better . They're cooking in the kitchen , for a moment . It felt like the good old times . I'm here in my bedroom changing into my black trackpants and white oversized tee , I put on my socks and sleepers then brush my hair . 

I walk downstairs and head to the kitchen , I haven't cooked in a while , the food smells amazing . 

“oh hi mommy .” Ontshiametse says sitting on the high stool with a container filled with ice cream .

“you're gonna get flu , that's alot of ice cream” I say taking a bottle of water and gulping it down . 

“I'm just craving for ice cream ..” she says , talking about ice cream , im craving for some ice cream with white bread . 

“Kago can you pass me white bread in there , 5 slices ppease .” the three of them glance at me , what ? Did I say anything wrong ?  

“5 slices of bread mama ? you eat 2 mos ?” he says .

“lets not discuss this any further please .” I say , he shakes his head and takes out the slices for me . He places them on a plate and hands it over to me . 

“Metse , pour me some ice cream on the bread , each slice .”

“bread and ice cream ? mommy that's weird .” 

“I'm making an ice cream sandwich .” I say , I don't normally eat this but here I am . I glance at Lwandile who's staring at me but he quickly looks elsewhere . I begin eating , the first bite is always the best and the biggest , this tastes so good . 

So here's the thing , Siyabonga is in KZN , his mother came to get him and apparently , he's doing very well out there . He doesn't even remember that he has kids of his own . 

“mommy , are we still going to Cape Town ?” I sigh . 

“maybe .. ” I say ..

“are we going with daddy ?” there is it again . 

“i don't know ..” I say that in whisper and continue eating . 

I drop the bread , why does it feel like im about to vomit ? 

“excuse me ..” I run upstairs and head to my bedroom . I go into the bathroom and kneel down infront of the toilet , why am I not vomiting ? I want to vomit but nothing is coming out . God .. why is this happening to me though ? I feel so horrible . 

 

I get up from the toilet and walk out .. 

“u'right ?” I jump out of fear , he scared me . 

“I'm sorry , i didn't mean to scare you .” he says as I take a deep breath . 

“its okay , i didn't see you there .” I say , he nods and closes the door . 

“what are you doing ?” I say , no I'm not ready for this . 

“we need to talk .” he says and I shake my head.

“I'm not ready ” I say .

“I'm also not ready , I'm just pulling myself up because we need to have this conversation .” 

“its not the right time Lwandile please don't do this .” 

“when will it be the right time Rorisang ? Look at yourself , you're falling apart .” I shake my head . 

“I'm fine ..” 

“you're not , there are kids in this house who see you falling apart each day , how do you expect them to go and be lively with their friends if they know that they left their mother in a really bad situation ?” he says , I'm five seconds away from crying . 

“please sit down so we could talk ...” I sit down on the bed and he sits as well . He faces me …

“I'm your therapist for now , I'm not your ex boyfriend or Lwandile .” he says as I chuckle lightly . 

“yeah right ..”

“take it as if you're at a therapy session , when you speak .. don't say "you" because I'm not Lwandile right now , okay?” I nod lightly . 

“feel free to say anything that you want to say , from the time you and Lwandile first met to the time he laid his hands on you .” he says , I don't know how but my tears just came rolling down. Where do I even start ?