Chapter 13

WRITTEN IN THE STARS: SEASON 2 13

SBANISENKOSI

My heart is pounding so fast but I'm trying my best to keep calm. I don't want to panic because I know that when I panic, everyone else in this room will feel the wrath of my anger.

“Are you full?” Nkanyezi asks wiping my forehead, I'm sweating. I nod and he takes the container from me.

“Hmm..” I grunt my teeth feeling another contraction coming. That's all I've been doing, grunting and moaning. I don't know how people who have more than one kid do it. I'm not judging though.. My mom came along with Mbali, am I birthing gold or something? the only person who didn't come is Luzuko and Sipho for personal reasons.

The doctor said I'm not even close to being ready, apparently what what has to be 10cm dilated then I can give birth. She said my cervix is staring to soften up so I can be able to push out the baby.

“Is it another contraction?” My mom asks, I shut my eyes and shut my eyes as the pain rushes through my back. I feel it for about 10 seconds before it subsides and I sigh heavily.

“This is not very nice...” I say opening my eyes, just as I'm about to speak. Another one hits me and I jump.

“The trick to surviving contractions is being calm and allowing yourself to feel them. Don't fight them..” The doctor says, what the fuck is she saying? I've been calm this entire time.

“Please don't stress her out now, she's been calm this entire time.” Christopher says, the doctor nods.

“I need to nap, I feel sleepy and I feel like vomiting.” I say, the motion sickness is kicking in.

“You can nap, to pass time.” She says, I've been here for 4 hours and I've had enough. Christopher helps me lay down on my side, my hands are starting to shake. I feel his lips on my ear..

“You're the strongest woman I know, thank you for making me a father...”  He whispers, I wipe off my tears before shutting my eyes and going to sleep. To even think that it's going to get worse, what have I gotten myself into.. . . Never in my 26 years of existence have I experienced this type of pain, everything of mine hurts. I went from 0-100, it genuinely feels like my enemy is having his/her way with me, my organs. Yonkinto.. I don't know.. I tried to remain calm and I'm still trying but I feel like I'm failing.

I've been crying, screaming and cursing. I don't understand why she can't just come out, she's hurting me. . . . MBALI

This is very traumatizing, I don't know how but everyone in this room is in tears watching Sbanisenkosi crying, screaming and cursing in pain. She looks like she's in pain, I'm sitting on the one seater couch with Luyanda. She's crying as well, this is not it.

“I'd like for you to take a shower, it's going to help a lot.” Dr Mthembu says, Christopher has been by her side but I can tell that he wants to run and hide. His tears never stopped falling though.

“I've never seen her in this much pain..” Luyanda whispers wiping off her tears, Sbani's mom is sobbing. I think she's traumatized as well, this is her only daughter and she's literally about to give life to a baby.

“Let's go..” Christopher says holding her and helping her jump off the bed, she roughly grabs his arm as another contraction hits her I think.. she sobs, her hands shaking.

“I can't..” She says letting go of him as she sits on the bed and cries. She's even sweating, God what's this..

“My thighs and abdomen area hurt, they hurt..” She says crying, Christopher leans against the wall and buries his face in his arm. He's crying..

“Her cervix has dilated to 6cm..” She says, in 9 hours and only now her cervix is getting to 6cm? I see Sbani giving birth tomorrow.

“Excuse me..” Nkanyiso says storming out, Luyanda told me that he can't handle hospitals especially such..

“Sbanisenkosi, control your contractions. If you let them take control of you then you won't function. Calm yourself down..” Mrs Biyela says, Sbanisenkosi shakes her head, she gets off the bed and walks around.  She glares at us, we can't even laugh because it's not funny. She's in literal pain..

“This shìt is not nice..” She says.

“Please use protection next time, it's not nice seeing you like this.” I say, she sighs heavily and continues walking around.

Everything goes from worse to worser in 15 minutes, she's kneeling on the bear floor burying her face in the bed, she's sobbing.

“Sbani listen, I'm gonna apply pressure of your back okay?” Her mom says, she doesn't respond, instead she cries.

“Make it stop!” She screams, her mother touches her back and she cries more. I don't even want to imagine the pain she's in.

“Maybe you should get the epidural..” The doctor says and Christopher immediately shakes his head.

“Thats gonna put my baby's life at risk, no.. I did tell you that we're not getting that.” He says, clearly stressed out. The doctor heaves a sigh and decides that she's checking her again. I don't think Sbani is even paying attention to fingers being put in her vagina, if she paid any attention then the doctor wouldn't have done this. . . . SBANISENKOSI

“Sbanisenkosi I'm gonna need you to calm down!” Dr Mthembu says, I shake my head. I'm kneeling on the bed, crying my lungs out.

“I need you to breathe Sbanisenkosi, please..” She begs.

“No! No! I can't!” I cry as the pain shoots up again. It feels like a hot pot is being placed on my back. I can't function..

I hear them calling my name, not hearing what they're saying. Even death should be better than this, these stupid contractions aren't spaced out anymore. I literally have 2 seconds before another one hits. I scream loudly, my back is on fire and it feels like someone is trying to slice it into pieces.

There it is again, my body begins to shake. I shut my eyes even more, I'm burning. My body is on fire, I want to die.

“S-x is bad, s-x will give you pain. I'm not gonna have s-x anymore, I'm sorry God..” I say and I hear someone laughing. It's not funny..

“You don't mean that..” Nkanyezi says, I shake my head. Praying, God.. help me out. I can't handle this pain anymore.

“I need you to be strong..” He says, I lift my head up.

“You need oxygen?” He asks, I nod breathing heavily, he grabs the musk and puts it on me. I breathe, faintly closing my eyes. I don't know what time it is and I don't care. I slowly take it off and sit comfortably on the bed, I wipe off my tears.

“How are you feeling?” My mom asks, I shake my head. I don't know how she did it with 3 children, I only want one child..not two or three.

“It's okay..” She says sitting besides me on the bed, my entire body is shaking and I have a very strong headache.

“It hurts..” I say, another one comes and it hits me like lightning. I cry hysterically, she helps me jump off the bed, I kneel down on the floor and endure this pain. Oh Lord..

“What can we do?” Nkanyezi asks the doctor, I hear her heave a sigh

“She has to go through this, there's no other way.” She says. I zone out, hiding my face with my hands.

“Baby...” He says, I can't hear him properly, I hear him pull me up. He's sitting on the floor as well. He gets me in between of his thighs and holds my belly.

“I need you to take control, please..” He says, I shake my head.

“I can't, it hurts..” I say sobbing, I feel a wet cloth on my face as he wipes off my face gently.

“You can and you will.” He whispers. I sob quietly, I don't have the energy to cry anymore or scream rather.. I just hope to die.

“You know I love you right..” He whispers, I nod slowly and gasp for air. I'm drained, the contractions continue hitting me, I squeeze his hand.

“I love you and i know you can do this.. you're strong. I believe in you more than anyone else in this world.” He says.

“If you ever doubt my love for you...then remember this moment Nkanyezi..” I say letting my tears fall.

“I won't..” He says.

“Nkanyezi what is that?” His mother asks, I open my eyes. What are they staring at?