CHAPTER [ 29 ]

lve been drinking myself to sleep but atleast l nvr lack at work because my mind is always miles away . So let me tell you something l never even told my daughter well l lied to her .

(sighs) 16 yrs ago , l used to be this wonderful girl ...Mom and dad would go on vacation and leave me with the neighbors .Well they were the well known family because they were the pastor and the first lady . The pastor was really fond of me and being a 16 yr old teenager l saw nothing wrong in that . Until one day .....

I had just finished taking a bath and l was about to wear my clothes when l felt like someone is watching . I took the pillow on the bed trying to cover myself when l saw the pastor let himself in with a bulge in my room .

To say l was scared is an understatement ... l still remember the old man saying " Do not fear my child there's nothing wrong with me seeing you naked ...Afterall Adam and Eve where never ashamed " he said that moving closer to me l tried to openy mouth to say something but he shushed me .

He removed the pillow l was holding onto tightly and eyes landed on my naked self . l was trembling with fears when he took my lips into his whilst he was rubbing his bulge on me ...l was responding to the kiss but he bit my lips forcing me to respond back . His hands moved to my boss ..l quickly pulled out of the kiss "No mfundisi l ..." a slap landed ony face and tears fell . A lot of questions running through my mind is this what pastors are supposed to do ? "Those who don't obey get punished , angisho " l kept quiet as he said that " hmm l don't mind crucifying you shame "

With that said he roughly picked me up through me on the bed like a bag of potatoes l flinched ..l tried to cover myself but l received another slap l tried to scream and he threatened to kill me . l just had to shut up he made me lie on the bed like a star first ...l don't know where he got the rope but he tied me on top the bed .

He unzipped his pants looking at me with lust and hunger like a lion ready to feed on its feast . He spat on my p*ssy and started rubbing on it before l knew it he had his thing on my entrance trying to penetrate me . it took time till he has inside me while l was muffling my cries he pounded in me so hard l felt my soul depart .

He continued to do so , pleasuring him self . He then untied me and left the room l was left there crying not believing l just got raped by the pastor ... umfundisi ! .The next morning l packed my bags before they woke up ...l ran like nvr before the moment l got out of the house . l decided to stay in the streets l nvr went back home after a few months l noticed my belly growing l was pregnant for that rapist of a pastor.

Anyways l was taken in by someone woman who was just passing by the streets and saw the pregnant me eating from the bin .. guess he felt pity for me . l tried to kill the baby but l would always land in hosting with this baby refusing to die . on the 9th month l gave birth to a girl l named he ....no no the lady who took me in is the one who named her Yolanda since l couldn't bring myself to naming her.

The lady took care of us until Yolanda was five . she found me a job that lm still working at as a cleaner . l decided to move out 2 yrs later and l repair that lady for taking care of us . I played my role in her life even though she was a constant reminder of what that pastor did to me ... My parents never looked for me (sighs) .

So Yolanda telling me she's pregnant just brought back everything that l was starting to bury trying to forget . lf l was able to survive the she will also survive out there . lm XOLELWA MJADU mother to YOLANDA MJADU.